As far as I can count, only two people are going to watch the football, David. Camp, you miserable old goat!!

Chin up, Tiny, mein Kamerad. It'll be a good 'un.

That's how you all talk up north, Webby.

Generic Litzen and a pair of Sturmpioniere Unteroffizier shoulderboards (with subdued Tresse), from RAU.

Have you reenforced your trouser gusset, Webby?

Bring a spoon, then!

As a German, I always wear mine.

Oh well, I'll have to use my spare Wurst for a silent Wurst kill! Watch out, Webby - I'm after you!

You deserve it, Chommers!!!

Been there, tried that - both my local Lidl and Aldi are absolutely crap. Almost no German food whatsoever.

Hi Gordon, I do have spare kit to lend, if anything is needed.

Can I do the "hello sailor" joke again ?

Would be nice, just in case.