The Immutable rules of Sven Hassel novels.

Following a particularly long stint posing as a waitress in a wartime fast food restaurant, one of the characters will sneeze loudly in a portico whilst simultaneously devising the plans for a perpetual motion machine.

**I have no idea what you're talking about but thought the above sounded as literarily interesting as those you mentioned**

Having only read one book by Hassel (Cassino) so far, I pretty much recognise all the plot/story lines mentioned above

The Dutch translated copy mentions them using Kalashnikovs at some point.

Here's a few more;

One of the team will be shot in a painful and embarrassing place.

Porta will describe how to cook something in great detail

Porta and Tiny will engage in some sort of black market activity

They were quite formulaic . Story goes the original one was written near enough truth ( Legion of the Damned) but failed to find a publisher so he spiced the next one up a bit to get a book deal, and when they took off pumped em out for all he was worth . They are currently out of print .

The internet is awash with rumour, some journo made it his life's work to debunk Sven , and prove him to be the Danish volunteer rather than a penal mann . Same bloke later claimed Sven had never fought but based his books on stories told to him by ex Danish SS veterans .

Truth or not they made exiciting/ amusing reading as a kid , although having re read LotD recently after a break of 20 years it now seemed quite poorly written TBH. Some interesting characters though .

.........come death ...........come quick ......... 😉

i read these books 1st as a schoolboy 1983 time,

and thats what their for, schoolboy war books,

their just one step up from warlord magazines, ( i read them too )

but as an adult, i get more from the comedy value than that "fighting"

i never tire of hearing about tinys exploits with inspeckor nass and his "snap brim"

great comedy ,

Wikipedia says a few things... doesn't it always!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sven_Hassel

Oh its good escapist war/adventure. Ideal for passsing long trian journey or the like.

Bizzarly i did start reading one at one point, put it down for a day or so and picked it up again, accidentally i'd picked up a different book and didnt notice til a few chapters in....

Mainly as the action is interspersed with chapters on leave or tall tales from before the war.

you forgot the bit where for some inexplicable reason, Tiny changes his name to John during Operation Barbarossa....

But exeptionaly good yarns, despite any problems with acuracy and ability, but dont forget he wrote them in danish and somebody else translated them.

Don't forget that there is always the "19 year old lieutenant" who will meet an unpleasant end and that objects will always point to the sky "like an accusing finger at the heavens".

I love Sven Hassels' books. If anyone hasn't already done it, read "the Bloody Road to Death", full of the horrors of war but also featuring some excellent comedy in the form of "the furs" and "Darjeeling Tea".

ive read the bloody road to death last week,

" the furs have gone over to the british ,sir"

look for flea bites on the brits at arhnem

Sorry jerry, we all use DDT so we dont get fleas in our kit. ha ha

in every book , someone gets their face slashed by a foresight or gun muzzle.

also someone always picks up a grenade and throws it back

And one of the gang is always permanently disfigured when they lose a whole/part of an ear or nose.

There is always a nazi fanatic whose ideology gets brought crashing to earth by the reality of war.

The Old Man will always threaten to shoot one of the gang.

The Legionnaire will refuse alcohol or sexual favours.

"GROFAZ" will be said a lot.

The list goes on....

GROFAZ , grosser feldherr alter ziet ,i think (memorys going these days)
LMAO ,

my favorite qoute from porta is , " we`ll show you where moses bought the beer"

my bible knowledge is non existent
where the hell did he get that one from???

I have absolutely no idea what that refers to - and the only places Moses went to were Egypt and the Middle East.

GROFAZ = greatest military leader of all time

a derogatry nickname for hitler by his generals

boheamian corpral was another

I must admit thinking 'oh no, not him....!' when reading Porta's death. Can not remember the book, definately towards the end of the series and in one of the pre-chapter side story type sections

I think thats the first book LotD where they all die in the end . I remember thinking of der Alte as very old, and yet re reading recently I realised he was only 33....

porta said, "we`ll show you where moses bought the beer", in berlin.

hes haveing a shootout with "strawberrys and cream" egons pimp.

hes just "fired his nagan so fast its sounded like a machine gun."

tiny also says "come and get it, you rotten helping of strawberry flan"

he then "gos through a pile of waste bins like a t-34 in a china shop"

some great qoutes from a great book, OGPU prison or blitzfreeze, im 90% sure its ogpu prision.